But for me, it was. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing.
One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. Please leave me a comment. Before delving into my own personal story, Id like to address this subject generally. ;-)). Houston, this team needs to rectify the causes or agree to seek outside help in it whilst this one team member needs to atone for having almost embarked on a hurtful and potentially damaging test unilaterally without her teammate's consent. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. Your choice, as ever. Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. Good luck. I kissed another man four years ago. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where.
Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) This. This is the decission you need to make do you want to risk all (career, home, kids as well as your DH) and be in a position you can pursue a relationship with this married man - who may well reject you for more than a fling. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. Why would you want to do that? I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. I wonder how that struggle with trust might affect bonding within a romantic relationship contex- oh, wait - could it, would it, on a train in the rain with a fox in a box, Sam-I-Am, possibly always communicate to your husband a sense that you don't fully enough trust *him*, in which case that must mean you're judging him by YOUR standards ergo he'd better hold back a bit just in case? And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. I love your stories, Foxie. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada. Then you must be doing it wrong. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. .Houston, you and I have now strengthened our bond (whereby attention and affection follow) by together having conquered a potential crisis which can now longer be called a problem rather than a PAST godsend of a dual warning (not enough attention/affection worthy of marriage) merely in problematic clothing. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). Lees theory has a big vulnerability. Jam, your wife holds the cards. I waited for the right time ?? But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. All of sudden my guy friend stopped texting me good morning and good night Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. It didn't feel real. Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. But please seperate the issues. By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like:
"Soz". I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. Hi SoulMate!
I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. Guess what his response was? NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you it's okay. You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" I'd never be able to get over it. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. This one by far has lasted the longest. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. In essence . Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. Take it away, expand if you please! We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. (I bet many would not kiss & TELL -as it would only invite chaos in their marraiges). Bringing this up is only going to hurt your SO. And, he did little favors for me. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. See what she has to say. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." Him coming to you within 2 days of his wayward deed , when he could have easily gotten away with it, this is something to consider. That's a long time for kissing. female
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I kissed another guy while drunk. Try to let it go and forgive yourself. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. I really need your help.I have been dating this boy for the past two months. ;-p
Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! lover. I myself have had issues in the past months but I won't elaborate. When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. Most people would never confess that's the reality. As one young man said " time heals" and he's so right. What am I going to do? I kissed another man four years ago. So, I reluctantly confessed to getting drunk and kissing my piano teacher. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. I worry I made huge mistakes in my life and that I am destined to life a "good" family life forever more, but never feel that amazing desire and lust and sexual attraction I don't feel for anyone else but this man. If your husband *did* get wind of it thus realised you'd kept it secret from him - despite he told YOU when someone made a pass at HIM - he'd then have A NUMBER of major beefs with you:
My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. Forget about it! Because just as everyone else is saying, if you did the RIGHT thing, you shouldn't feel guilty. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. Okay. i think OP is using 'kiss' to mean 'more than kiss', but whatever, it was 4 years ago in a rough patch.. everyone here is wrong. Are you sure all you did was kiss? My wife wants to leave because of this. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. (*'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. Saying that, however, I note you wrote:
I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Amazing how long this subject has carried on. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. Kissing that that guy confirmed it. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. There's a difference between sex and kissing. Your punishment is living with this. So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. You cheated. It how you deal with it that makes the difference. When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. I dont believe in innocent kiss. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. Again I could go on with this subject,and I undoubtedly will.
In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? And Brodie groped James. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. Do you want to end you marriage? Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. Just my opinion. (Ta-daaaa!) I believe that over time this would have happened with or without the wiskey. New Mexico sunsets flat lands breathtaking. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. It was such a weird experience. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. Keep it to yourself. Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. A certain someone might read it. by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. What if your husband ever found out? What? If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. Having eyes for someone else while you're married is seen to be wildly inappropriate. And it's weird, but it's like I need the guy to tell me what I did was ok and I'm not a bad person. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. Will the guilt ever go away? Better safe than sorry. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. For starters, your husband, even when supposedly immature, didn't kiss HER. Don't feel guilty. It should prevent you from repeating your actions. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. Do you? Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . (That'll do me nicely! Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. :-) I mean, *I* don't mind if your relationship continues slowly but surely remaining on the skids, do I. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A
As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. If he is nervous at you looking at his messages and also refuses to tell you who she is, he is hiding quite alot. I rang the guy and said ' oh wow, so last night, that really happened, what the hell where we at? ' / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl.
When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. Hey all.
It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. Lee.. you are too funny. If your boyfriend still trusts you- then his faith in your fidelity moving forward should give you faith in yourself. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. I have no idea who the girl is. Its more like an excuse for cheating. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? Why? And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back.
And I have never cheated myself. It was the most thrilling feeling I ever had watching my wife kiss and make out with another guy. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. Unless you literally were so drunk that you had no idea what you were doing, it's probably better for you to take responsibility for and own your behavior instead of saying "I got drunk" as an excuse. It happened two days ago. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. I had only taken three years of piano lessons while still a teenager, and here I was in my late 40s studying piano again. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. female
I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship.
Funny, I have never gotten amorous when I have had too much to drink. FoxieLadie is Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? (SK, that award doesn't exist. ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. Damn, my husband is such a good person and we were together for almost 7 years now. Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. I feel so bad since then. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. My SO and I had been dating two years. (y)
She had gone to bed. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down.
Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing.
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