carnac the magnificent curses

by BMcCJ. "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? A: Kaleidoscope. Images tagged "johnny carson". The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Curses, Curses, Curses . The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. A: Los Angeles Dodgers. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! us? [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? Q: How do you get it? The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. . The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. . The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Box 4, Folder 47. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? A: David Frost. . Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, Q: Name three people who like to bomb. Margaret's door? The answer was always an outrageous pun. A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." A: Once is not enough. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? Line: 192 Feel free to laugh, but beware! . After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. A: Superbowl. doctors. . A: Ransack. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." A: Stick 'em up! Its hard to divine when you cant see. Clarnac the Magnificent - Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? A: Natural gas. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. sister. . May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Sacred Marvels: 17 Cathedrals That Will Take Your Breath Away, In The character was introduced in 1964. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. Modern Day Curses - Monte R Anderson - Author In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? A: Executive action. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. cleanup team? this year? New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox Box Score: May 30, 1961 Ed McMahon: Shogun. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret dickory? A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. Contents Box 4, Folder 45. Box 4, Folder 46. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. A: Beethoven's Fifth. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . Carnac the Magnificent. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs' "Mr. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. A: SAG Strike. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. 40 Years Ago, Johnny Carson Tells Most Famous Joke - KPEL 96.5 Introducing: Carnac the Magnificent A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign a #2 mayonnaise , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? Johnny would don an . A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and A: "Here's Boomer." Line: 24 Carnac Alternatives and Similar Software | AlternativeTo Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on - YouTube Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page station? Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? Johnny Carson's Greatest Moments From Carnac to a Python Grapple And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. Paul? The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. ANSWER: Gatorade. CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . pants. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. Amazon.com: Carnac Hat up your turban. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Q. A: Supervisor. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. A: Putting on the dog. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? eyes? , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them Flashback Friday: Heeeere's Carnac! | National Enquirer So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. A: Ultra-conservative. A: Disjoint. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Carnac the Magnificent - Infogalactic: the planetary knowledge core Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Organized in groups of 10. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Similar Items. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. . On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. A: Planter's Punch. share. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? carnac the magnificent curses The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? grenade? The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? proctologist. [1] May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. . Hand made. A: Sueeee, sueeee. hair". "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? A: The Newlywed Game. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? sister. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Rosy red cheeks. Sunday, 16 December 2018. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? Wikizero - Carnac the Magnificent A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. A: "Hi diddly dee." Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. Line: 68 [1] , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? . A: "The Dumplings." She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? compartment in your sister. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac the Magnificent - Unionpedia, the concept map A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes? - narkive A: Head and shoulders. A: Gunga din. Carnac the Magnificent Wikipedia Republished // WIKI 2 Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A: The ZIP Code. dee? The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s.